One Year Later: Neighborhood Nip’s Marathon Continues

I’ll be the first to admit that I have no idea about Los Angeles. My entire Los Angeles experience includes conducting the mandatory “Black person who visits LA and watches Insecure” pose in front of The Dunes apartment building, going on an OJ tour because my obsession with that trial is fucking unhealthy and eating a Rice Krispie Treat which had me hallucinating for an inordinate amount of time. Aside from the Rice Krispie almost killing me and the traffic, L.A. is special. From the weather to the culture to…

Rona Elementary Mission Statement

To all the amazing children enrolled at Rona Elementary this semester, we, the administrative body, truly believes that every student is intelligent, creative, and capable of immense growth and learning. We, at Rona Elementary, are truly committed to providing a personal and engaging learning experience by: Encouraging children to STFU when their teachers aka Mommy and Daddy are on a work call. Recognizing that your teachers aka Mommy and Daddy don’t want to be trapped in the house with their ungrateful ass students, either. Offering a challenging and rewarding curricula…

Black Culture Saves the World..Again

Black Culture saved the day, even if they don’t appreciate the shit.. Black Culture is embedded in our society. It’s embedded so Mariana Trench deep, that white people can take Black Culture, use it as if they created it, and have the utmost fucking confused look on their face after we call them out for appropriating our culture. Maybe it’s our fault. Maybe it’s our fault because we create shit that’s so dope, the expectation of thievery is reasonable. For centuries, they have taken our delicately seasoned culture, our style,…

I’m Going to Need Obama To Gentrify The White House

President Barack Obama is nice guy. He is well mannered and usually takes the high road. But fuck all that. I’m going to need him to be on some n*gga shit, mixed with some white woman shit. As our ancestors would probably coin it, “The Corona” is here, and it’s real. Having a dumbass in the White House is all fun in games until, you know, it stops being all fun and games. So here is what needs to happen. We are going to need Obama to gentrify the White…