December 4, 2023

Last week’s Game of Thrones episode saw the utter destruction of Kings Landing. The penultimate episode of the final season came as a shocker to us all as Daenerys Targaryen, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons burned Kings Landing down to cinders. Even though plenty of foreshadowing took place throughout the show’s history, a lot of people weren’t convinced that Daenerys would turn full Mad Queen until it actually happened. Encouraged by her child’s death (Even if Rhaegal was the middle child and the middle child is always iffy), Missandei’s beheading and a lack of peen provided from her nephew, Daenerys, with the assistance of the MVP, Drogon, burned King’s Landing more than a urine cup at a College Free Clinic.

After earning a FULL paycheck and working an entire 8-hour shift during the massacre of King’s Landing, we had a chance to catch up with Drogon and he seemed very chill despite killing tens of thousands of people last week.

BWNC: It’s an absolute pleasure to have you here with us. Wow, so where do I begin.

Drogon: The pleasure is mine. Oh, please don’t say Dracarys. I would unintentionally burn this mf to the ground.

BWNC: Duly noted. So, how do you feel after last weeks episode?

Drogon: Vindicated. I kept telling mother to unleash me but she kept trying to talk reason into these white folks. As a non-white, I gave them a shorter leash. So, I think after Missandei’s death, me and Grey Worm said f*ck that shit and called a meeting.

BWNC: Wait, y’all did? Is that when you guys convinced Daenerys to ignore the bells?

Drogon: Hell yeah, and it was perfect timing because it wasn’t too long after Jon denied her his bastard peen. I knew that was our opening, so I set up a meeting on Microsoft Outlook and invited Grey Worm and Mother…

BWNC: And not Tyrion?

Drogon: Hell nah! Def not Tyrion. So after Mother and Tyrion drew up some battle plans, which included some shit about stopping after the bells start ringing, we had our own separate meeting. After Grey Worm and I presented an alternate strategy, Mother initially pushed back on the idea of a King’s Landing massacre until Grey Work cut her off with, “Maaaaaaan, F*CK DEM BELLS!” Right then and there, Mother was like, “Hell yeah, you right. F*ck them mf bells.” And I was like, BET.

BWNC: Wow. So take us to the actual battle. What was going through your mind when the bells actually started ringing.

Drogon: To be honest, I kind of wanted to pull back. You know, you see the women and children and dogs and shit running around, so I’m like damn, are we REALLY about to kill all these innocent people? I’m all for burning n*ggas who deserve it but..

BWNC: But to burn women and children did seem a little out of her character..

Drogon: A little! That b*tch, I mean Mother went full nuclear. Like, foreshadowing a mf turning crazy is one thing but to piss on and rush character development is disrespectful to Mother and her journey. Mother always had a temper and shit, don’t get me wrong, but being a mass murder of the innocents was never her thing. She’s always defended the downtrodden, the people who couldn’t defend themselves. She’s been a champion of women and children. She was always a champion of the defenseless in this f*cked up, patriarchal society, because she too was defenseless until she rose to power, thanks in large part to ya boy, of course.

*Drogon proceeded to pop his own collar*

BWNC: I get all that. So why did you go through with the command when she shouted Drac..shit, when she shouted the command to burn the city?

Drogon: Because it was Mother’s Day.

BWNC: That’s it?

Drogon: Hell yeah, Mother deserves whatever she wants on her day. If she wants a card and flowers, cool. If she wants to kill thousands of innocent people, whatever. On Mother’s Day, Mother gets what she wants.

BWNC: Do you have any regrets about what happened in Kings Landing?

Drogon: Well, besides killing thousands of innocent women and children, I do wish I could’ve eaten Cersei. Like, she was killed by a poor foundation. You mean to tell me that if Westeros had any kind of construction oversight, she would still be alive? N*gga please. Also, I kind of regret not burning a white horse I saw. It was just standing there but for some reason, I flew by it. I think I was starting to get tired at that point and Mother had said Dracarys like 50-11 times. I lost count.

BWNC: Well, I hope that white horse doesn’t come back to bite you and your mother in the ass.

Drogon: Why you say that?

BWNC: No reason. Well, it was pleasure catching up with you today, Drogon. I wish you and your Mother well in the final episode.

Drogon: Thanks for having me. I’m sure it’ll be Kings Landing LIT!

BWNC: Oooo, too soon. The social media police will be in your mentions of that one.

Drogon: Shit, and I really don’t want no smoke.

BWNC: Pun intended?

Drogon: What pun?

BWNC: Never mind.

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