October 1, 2023

My petty heart is full.

And now, I will say my Petty Prayer.

The PETTY is my shepherd, I shall not want. It makes me lie down in African Mother Land pastures. It leads me beside petty, troubled waters. Yet, it restores my soul. It guides me in the paths of pettiness for the sake of it’s name. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of White America and Mayonnaise, I will fear no racists, for Petty are with me.

It’s rod and it’s staff, they comfort me.It prepares a table before me in the presence of racist ass white folks. It anoints my head with black oil moisturizer, my petty pimp cup overflows. Surely pettiness and trolling will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Black Social Media, forever.

Didn’t that opening prayer feel good?

Michael Che was the first to provide us with this gem.

Anyway, #AllBuildingsMatter is the hashtag of 2000 and 20 (We use 2020’s government name) and I’m claiming it. Usually September 11th is reserved as a day of remembrance to commemorate the anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks. However, since we thought a #AllLivesMatter mf said something, black folks, and white folks who want to troll their racist white brethren, decided to, in unison, keep that same “All Lives Matter” energy.

And we did.

The heartbreak America felt in regard to the 9/11 terrorist was felt by every American, both black and white. But, those same feelings, for whatever reason (racism), are not as unified when it comes to the tragedies of police brutality. And to that we say, “Cool.” Because when a black life is destroyed by systemic racism, America responds with All Lives Matter. And when a building is tragically destroyed by terrorism, we respond with All Buildings Matter.

And oh, we can’t forget your “WHAT ABOUT CHICAGO” responses, either. So, the next time y’all complain about foreign terrorism threatening the American way of life, we will be here to say, “WHAT ABOUT AMERICAN ON AMERICAN TERRORISM!”

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

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