All About Love and Loss: Grief in My Black Experience Part III

“to be loving is to be open to grief. to be touched by sorrow, even sorrow that is unending. we need not contain grief when we use it as a means to intensify our love for the dead and dying, for those who remain alive.” ― bell hooks, all about love The scariest thing about falling in love for me has been dealing with the harsh reality that at its’ core love will always result in loss. Our existence is fragile. Every day we leave the house we risk never…

How To Honor the Memory of Our Loved Ones: Grief In My Black Experience Part II

My mother and I were sitting in the living room on a sunny Saturday afternoon watching television and gossiping… I mean, chit-chatting like we always do. It was one of those days, so more than likely we were reminiscing on some moment or memory that my mother had of my late father who had been gone from this world about six months at that time. I do not remember it as a sad moment, but I do recall my mother mentioning that she had not received any messages from the…

Reflections on the 20th Anniversary of September 11th: What I recall at 19 and The Feelings I Have Today at 39

It was an ordinary Tuesday morning for me, as I finished preparing myself in the mirror before I walked to my first class of the day at Southern University and A & M College. It was muggy in Louisiana, and I remember taking my time with my barrel curling iron, ensuring every strand of hair was in place. It was 2001, and we were still mourning the loss of our beloved Aaliyah a few weeks prior, so it was pertinent that my bang swooped perfectly in her honor. I was…

Grief in My Black Experience

“Libations poured in remembrance Balloons released into the sky Ritual and procession, Pomp and circumstance It’s an affair when Black people die.” -F. Renee Hamilton My earliest memory of death was being held in my mothers’ arms as we stood in line to view my paternal great-grandmothers body for the last time. I could not have been more than four years old, but this final saying of goodbye has forever been engrained in my memory. Vaguely, I remember various family members leaning over to kiss the lady whom I thought…