Black Twitter should be it’s own country, at this point. With it’s own laws, regulations and economy. It’s a sanctuary, where Black folks come together to break virtual bread. On Black Twitter, we send tweets, both in short and long form, that maybe all people can relate to, but we KNOW Black people can relate to.
But once Haley’s Comet, a tweet — or a thread, in this case — goes viral and reaches the masses in a way that is both shocking and hilarious. And this is exactly what happened when @SincerelyDedra told this incredible story, full of drama, adultery, suspense and best of all, laughter.
Well, one of the stars of the thread has decided to sit down with us. Her name is Big Gayle and she has something to say.
BWNC: Gayle, thank you so much for joining us today.
Gayle: The pleasure is mine, and Big Gayle is they call me.
BWNC: Alright, Big Gayle, let’s get right to it. How does it feel to be this social media celebrity right now?
Big Gayle: You gone eat that?
BWNC: Eat what? My lunch? I mean, I was planning to…
Big Gayle: Oh ok, anyway…Chiiiile, I don’t even know. I was over here listening to my Gerald Levert records and you know that part when Teddy Bear hit that note on Casanova?
BWNC: Teddy Bear? The Hell?
Big Gayle: That’s what we used to call em! Rest in peace to that man, one of a kind. Anyway, when Casanova was getting good and Teddy Bear singing to me, I get this call from one of my young boys I like to mess with and he tell me I done gone vinyl.
BWNC: Viral?
Big Gayle: Yeah, viral, that’s it. I done gone viral. And I’m like what is that? And he like Big Gayle, that means everybody knows the story between you and Mike! And I’m like ahhhh hell!
BWNC: Ahhh hell is right. So what did you do after you found out?
Big Gayle: The first thing I do is go over to my young boy job and pick me up a two piece original and then I..
BWNC: Wait, so the young dude you are currently messing with works at KFC?
Big Gayle: Yeah, baby. That’s how I like em, employed. More specifically employed at restaurants that season they food.
BWNC: Wait a second. Back up. So you are like a serial “I need the hookup” dater?
Big Gayle: Hell yeah. To get this booty, you gotta feed me foodie!
BWNC: Black Jesus Jerome Christ on a suspended license, let’s move on. So, how does it feel to be a social media celebrity, now?
Big Gayle: It feels good! Even though I’m gonna get that lil hussie when I see her?
BWNC: Who?
Big Gayle: That girl, that lil cashier that twittered the twitter story about me!
BWNC: Why? Did she tell anything that was untrue? I thought she told a very riveting and compelling story.
Big Gayle: Nah, it was all true, but I think she was messing with Mike. I aint got no evidence, but I just know it. She always looked like a lil homewrecker.
BWNC: Wait, but you were cheating on your husband with Mike. Shit, y’all the homewreckers, right?
Big Gayle: Next question.
BWNC: How was the meal only $7.15?
Big Gayle: What the chicken box? Chiiiile, I don’t know how Mike set them prices. I just know that whenever I walked my fine self in that dump, I wasn’t paying! I know that much! They knew when I walked in, that chicken box better be hot and ready, ya hear me!?
BWNC: I hear ya! Whispers: *Except for the last time*
Big Gayle: What you say?
BWNC: Nothing! It was a pleasure speaking with you today. Best of luck on all your future endeavors and food hookups.
Big Gayle: Ahh thank you, baby!
Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.
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