BREAKING: Mueller Report proclaims Trump as the King Joffrey of White Privilege
At this point, it’s evident that Trump has mastered the art of White Privilege. He is the King Joffrey of White Privilege, fueled by mayonnaise, imperialism, Get Outta Jail Free Cards, and undeserved high credit scores (The wigga declared bankruptcy six times). However, this recent Mueller Report has put Trump in another stratosphere, a stratosphere that is occupied by only the MOST privileged Caucasians. I, like many people, assumed the pinnacle/apex of Trump’s White Privilege was reached when he was elected President of the United States (aka Election Day White-Mageddon), a title that is normally reserved for people with an IQ higher than an avocado. However, it’s my suspicion that the report card handed down by Robert Mueller will be judged as the moment scientist look back in awe at the spike in White Privilege that hit the continental United States with the energy of 1,000 “F*ck you, officer” without getting shot’s. Mueller’s report card can be described as a professor handing a student all F’s and passing said student, anyway. In the Mueller Report, there were at least 10 instances of potential obstruction (e.g., the Trump’s reaction to the continuing Russia investigation; the firing of Comey; the appointment of the special counsel and efforts to remove him; efforts to curtail the special counsel; efforts to prevent public disclosure of evidence etc..), a fact that Attorney General William Barr aka Trump’s First Lady failed to cite when “clearing” Trump of any wrongdoing. In his statement, First Lady Barr stated, “The president took no act that in fact deprived the special counsel of the documents and witnesses necessary to complete his investigation. Apart from whether the acts were obstructive, this evidence of non-corrupt motives weighs heavily against any allegation that the president had a corrupt intent to obstruct the investigation.” In other words, First Lady Barr went off his boo, Trump’s feelings/intent as to whether he committed obstruction of justice. I only wish my Babymomma would defend me with the same zeal First Lady Barr defends Trump.. As it relates to the overall collusion with Russia, Mueller himself tried everything in his Caucasian powers to clear Trump of any wrongdoing. Unfortunately for Trump, he couldn’t do that, but fortunately for Trump, that doesn’t fucking matter. In the Mueller Report, it states: “If we had confidence … POTUS clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state…we are unable to reach that judgement. Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.” In other words, Trump probably committed a crime, but he is too dumb to prosecute. In other, other words, Trump is the 2019 OJ. Trump, in an effort to fully morph in to the White Privilege Night King took to twitter in order to gloat on his “innocence.” On twitter, he tweeted a picture, with Game of Thrones font, that read: “No Collusion. No Obstruction. For the Haters and the Radical Left Democrats—GAME OVER.” This can only be described as a remarkable, not only because the “game” is not over and Mueller did in fact find potential instances of collusion and obstruction, but Trump, in 2017, stated, “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my presidency. I’m fucked,” after a Special Counsel was appointed. Trump: I’m fucked.. White Privilege: I got you, boo.. Mueller’s investigation into possible collusion essentially states that members of the Trump campaign (Which includes Trump) knew they would benefit from Russia’s illegal actions to influence the election, but didn’t take criminal steps to help, the report said. Mueller also makes clear Congress can continue to investigate Trump. Which is probably one of the greatest white on white solids this country as ever seen because the last time Congress did something worth doing was the last time white people properly seasoned chicken. “With respect to whether the President can be found to have obstructed justice by exercising his powers under Article II of the Constitution, we concluded that Congress has the authority to prohibit a President’s corrupt use of his authority in order to protect the integrity of the administration of justice,” the report said. In non-constitutional, non-legal terms, Mueller and nem stated, “We wish the American people good fucking luck. We out this bitch.” Mueller’s White on White solid favors hit its peak when Mueller declined to subpoena President White Privilege because it would “delay” the investigation. Meanwhile, the non racist American people read this revelation, while simultaneously saying to themselves, “WTF? We got time, my n*gga.” This, to me, is strangely peculiar. For something so paramount as the President of the United States possibly colluding with a foreign entity, wouldn’t time be considered almost a non-factor? Like, here, Thanos will even let you borrow the Time Stone, if need be. Why not take all the time you need in order to get to the truth, especially when there is evidence there of nefarious activities. But, I guess that sounds too much like right. And not too much like white..