September 24, 2023

Orlando Magic basketball player, Jonathan Issac, has been at the center of controversy, recently, stemming from his decision to stand during the flag and not wear a Black Lives Matter t-shirt. When he was asked why he chose not to kneel nor wear a Black Lives Matter shirt, Issac confusingly inserted religion in his reasoning:

I don’t think that kneeling or putting on a t-shirt, for me personally, is the answer. I feel like, for me, Black lives are supported through the Gospel. All lives are supported through the Gospel. We all…have things that we do wrong.

Whatever tf that meant. Anyway, what happened next was nothing short of ironic. In the very next game, Issac tore his ACL. It was a devastating injury for his basketball career, however, he, nor his knee received much sympathy from a lot of black folks. Not to say all black folks celebrated, but definitely a good number of us were sipping tea, asking what each other wanted for lunch when the news broke. We’ve heard from Jonathan Issac, but who we haven’t heard from yet is his knee.

Well, that’s about to change.

August 04, 10:02 a.m. EST

BWNC: Thank you for joining us, today. I know it’s been a crazy few days. How are you doing? Feeling OK?

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: I’m torn, bro.

BWNC: I can imagine. It has to be a lot racing through your mind during this confus..

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: No, bro. I’m literally torn.

BWNC: OOOOOH, yeah, that’s right. You are literally torn. Damn. How bad does it hurt?

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: It’s getting better. I just hope I’m OK, you know? Jonathan’s basketball career and livelihood are depending on me.

BWNC: Yeah, so about Jonathan. Did you agree with his comments?

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: HELL NAH! But, lemme ask YOU a question. Do you know what the fuck he was talking about?

BWNC: Well, I’ve been trying to figure that out myself and I was hoping you could shed some light for me. I know his reasoning was based on religion and God, but I’m not sure what religion and God have to do with Black Lives Matter. BLM is a decentralized movement advocating for non-violent (and sometimes violent depending if folks don’t give af that day, but, who cares) civil disobedience in protest against incidents of police brutality and all racially motivated violence against African-American people.

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: See, all that shit you just said. What did that have to do with the Gospel? What did that have anything to do Matthew, Mark, Luke and John? I think it was the koon chip, personally.

BWNC: The koon chip?

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: Yeah, I was having a conversation with Issac’s right arm and he told me that the left elbow told him that a koon chip was activated inside the brain.

BWNC: Did anyone try to contact the brain?

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: Nah, see, that’s the problem. The internal organs think they are better than everyone else. Like, me and the liver are on speaking terms, but shit like the heart and the brain, they don’t really fuck with us like that. Anyway, from what I heard, a koon chip was inserted into the brain like a decade ago, and through years of white brainwash via religion, the koon chip was finally activated.

BWNC: You know what? That actually makes more sense than anything he said.

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: I know. Like, it’s fucking stupid what he said. Now look at us. I was reading on social media about people captioning “All Knees Matter.” Like no mf, fuck all these other knees! I’m the one that got torn!

BWNC: Right! Man, you alright, Issac’s Knee. Last question, do you think the ancestors unfairly punished you?

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: Yes, yes I do. Like, his foot be acting a little koonish. Why didn’t they break that or some shit? But I understand the irony. He didn’t kneel and the ancestors said, “Bet, we about to kneel for you.” His dumbass. I wish they could transfer me to another body. Is Bill Russell still alive?

BWNC: Yeah.

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: Perfect. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind getting a 20 something year old knee, even if its a little torn.

BWNC: It was great talking to you. I hope rehab goes well. And I hope Issac’s brain fights back against the koon chip.

Jonathan Issac’s Knee: Nah, that nigga and his brain gone.

BWNC: Fair enough.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

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