December 4, 2023

Advisor: A rapper wants to meet with you.

Trump: Who, Tupac? Tupac is a dear friend of mine.

Advisor: No, Ice Cube.

Trump: Is he a black?

Advisor: Yes.

Trump: Can he win me some negro votes?

Advisor: Possibly.

Trump: Covefe! Send him in. Wait, before you do that, what does Negro Cuban want from me?

Advisor: Ice Cube, and he wants to sell you on this 500 billion dollar plan for Black America.

Trump: Covefe! Make sure he prints out the plan because after this meeting where we won’t discuss specific policy, I want to roll it up and sniff cocaine with it. Wait, 500 billion dollars!?!?? Who does he think he is? The Coronavirus or the military?!?

Advisor: Right, like we got 500 billion dollars stuffed in some attic in the Pentagon, but just not for black people.

Trumps: Black people? I think they prefer for the term negroes or people of colords.

Advisor: Sorry. So, I’m assuming you will just use this “plan” as a prop and never follow through on it, right?

Trump: Covefe!

Advisor: And will you be asking any follow up questions pertaining to the plan itself?

Trump: Fuck, no.

Advisor: Will you be asking any follow up questions about the ghetto and diamond rings?

Trump: Covefe! And oh, before I forget, what should we call this plan?

Advisor: Hmmm, maybe the “Black American Economic Equity Act” or something?

Trump: No, you have to sell the plan to the negroes. I will call it the..

Advisor: Ahh, shit, here we go…

Trump: I will call it the 20 Inch Rim Platinum Plan. The blacks still like 20 inches and platinum, right? The spinning platinum rims. My good friend Tupac told me about those.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

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