Daenerys Targaryen aka Daenerys Beyonce Knowles-Carter Targaryen aka Mother of Dragons and Matriarchy aka Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea aka Hurricane Katrina Born aka The Unburnt cause this bih don’t get burnt aka The Breaker of Chains and Patriarchy aka Dany aka “Hey Nephew” is the trillest woman on TV since dark skin Aunt Viv. When we are first introduced to her, Daenerys and her fake Thug Life ass brother, Viserys, are in exile, hiding from the self-proclaimed Targaryen killer, King Robert. For much of her life, Dany is abused by her brother, both mentally and physically. This all leads to him forcing her to marry Khal Drogo, head of the powerful Dothraki, a group of mf’s who f*ck people up for shits and giggles. When she married Khal Drogo, Dany was gifted with three dragon eggs. Little did she know, them mf’s actually had dragons in them hoes. Anyway, the future Dragon Queen and Khal Drogo’s relationship starts to develop into something serious after a bit of a rocky start, which included a very “rapey” scene, but rape was clearly about as common as a date with Bill Cosby in Westeros. When Dany becomes pregnant with Khal Drogo’s son (“The Stallion Who Mounts the World”) and her Fake Thug Life Ass brother, Viserys, threatens to kill her and her unborn child if he doesn’t get what he wants, she allows Khal Drogo to power molten gold on his b*tch ass head, thus ending his b*tch ass life. After an assassination attempt and an injury suffered by Drogo, he receives treatment from this crazy ass witch doctor, Mirri Maz Duur. Well, surprise surprise, the crazy ass witch doctor f*cks up Drogo with some blood magic. Mirri then tricks Dany by using her son’s life as a sacrifice to heal Drogo but it leaves him permanently f*cked up and her son dies, anyway. Shit, now that I’m typing this out, Dany’s story really took a turn for the worst, FAST. Anyway, Daenerys decides to just kill Vegetable Drogo and punishes Mirri by having her tied to Drogo’s funeral pyre. She also lays the dragon eggs onto Drogo’s body and calmly walks into the fire, herself (white people shit). The following morning, as the fire dies, Daenerys Hurricane Katrina Born Targaryen emerges from the fire with three baby dragons. In other words, shit just got real.. Afterward, she goes to some city, meets some n*gga and loses her dragons. And she has a few visions and that about it. Other than that, wasn’t shit really happening in Qarth. After she leaves Qarth with a ship and some gold, Daenerys travels to Astapor, a city in Slaver’s Bay. There, Dany attempts to negotiate with Astapori slaver Kraznys mo Whatever this F*ck Face name is in order to purchase an army of Unsullied, which is an elite group of soldiers (Who got no, as my daughter would say, “We-We’s”) in exchange for Dany’s dragon, Real Ass N*gga Drogon. In the negotiation, she also looks to obtain the services of Kraznys’s translator, Missandei. When Daenerys obtains Missandei’s services and asks her if she is willing to go into battle with her, and perhaps risk her life… Missandei answers: “Valar Morghulis,” (“All men must die”), And Daenerys reminds her: “Yes. All men must die, but we are not men.” Upon the completion of the transaction, Dany has Drogon burn Kraznys like Andre Rison’s crib, but not before revealing that she knew all the shit he was talking in Vlaryian. She then orders the Unsullied to sack the city, kill Astapor’s masters and freeing its slaves cause Dany a real n*gga and that’s what real n*ggas do. Afterward, Daenerys and her army march to the neighboring slave city of Yunkai, where she eventually takes it over with the help of the Second Sons’ lieutenant, Daario Naharis (they switched his character with another actor like mfs wouldn’t notice). Daario, Jorah, and the Unsullied Commander Grey Worm infiltrate Yunkai, opening the gates for the Targaryen army to conquer the city. Daenerys is received by Yunkai’s freed slaves, who hail her as their “mhysa” (mother) in a scene that had her pale white ass being carried by a bunch of black, brown, and white folks who were covered in dirt so they looked brown folks. The show was def on some white savior shit but because the show is so f*cking good, we let it slide just this ONE time. After her Sandra Bullock white savior Blind Side shit, Hurricane Katrina Born marches on the last city in Slaver’s Bay, Meereen, and seizes control of the city by instigating a slave revolt. There, she decides set up camp and stay so she can practice ruling. She also begins a “friends with benefits” relationshit (I spelled it right) with Daario. After discovering that Jorah was previously spying on her on King Robert’s behalf, she kicks his old creepy ass up out the city. Later, Dany finds out that her dragons are doing, ya know, dragon shit, so she must chain them up. While attemping to rule/govern Meeren, Darnerys faces a new threat in the form of the Sons of the Harpy, some hating ass group funded by the former slavers. After the Sons kill Ser Old Ass But Kicking Ass Barristan, Daenerys decides that she will attempt to restore peace by reopening Meereen’s fighting pits. While attending a gladiator encouraged by her new future “husband” (I swear I forgot this n*gga name so many times and refuse to re-learn it), she is confronted by Jorah, who has brought her a “gift” in the form of Tyrion “I Drink Henny and I Know Plenty” Lannister. Daenerys accepts Tyrion onto her council, kicks old ass Jorah out, again. At the reopening of the fighting pits, old ass Jorah actually shows his worth and saves Dany’s life by killing a Son of the Harpy trying to assassinate her. The Sons then launch a massive attack, which prompts Dany to fly up outta there with Drogon. Drogon eventually leaves her in the Dothraki Sea, where she is captured by a khalasar. After being taken by the Dothraki Khalsar, they learn that she is the widow of Khal Drogo. This prompts the Dothraki to place her in Vaes Dothrak, where she must live out the rest of her days with other widows. After inevitably getting up out that mf quick fast and a hurry (Because shes the mf Dragon Queen), Daenerys sets fire to the temple, killing everyone inside but emerging unscathed. Awed, the Dothraki accept her as their Khaleesi. After obtaining a whole new army just based on them finding out that no burning STD shall be formed against her, Daenerys returns to Meereen to find it under siege by the former slavers, who reneged (Like a drunk uncle at a Spades table) on an agreement with Tyrion to free their slaves and are trying to reclaim the city. Daenerys deploys all three of her dragons, burning most of the slaver fleet and seizing the ships that survive. The slavers agree to surrender. Daenerys, with the advice of Tyrion, leaves Daario and the Second Sons in Meereen to keep the peace. Afterward, she names Tyrion Lannister as Hand of the Queen, and, with help from the exiled Greyjoys and their ships, sets sail for Westeros at last. Sets sail with three full grown dragons three whole bad ass fighting forces by her side. When Daenerys arrives on Dragonstone, only to find it abandoned, her and Tyrion formulate a plan that sends the Unsullied to take Casterly Rock, and her Greyjoy fleet, along with ships from Dorne, to blockade King’s Landing. The Lannister forces, however, have left Casterly Rock and seized Highgarden and its wealth, and Euron Greyjoy overcomes Yara Greyjoy’s ships. In other words, Tyrion starts F*CKING UP.. In an effort to gain allies, Dany summons the King in the North, Jon Snow, to BEND D KNEE. Jon refuses, insisting that the White Walkers and their ice zombie army are far more important than whoever is vying for the Iron Throne. After hearing about another L, Daenerys says, “f*ck this shit,” and leads Drogon and the Dothraki f*ck up shit, on sight…ON SIGHT! That mf dragon swoops in and burn mf’s faster than Catholics used to burn books. However, Drogon is injured by a ballista designed specifically to wound dragons. After burning a few n*ggas alive who wouldn’t BEND D KNEE, Jon leads the Westeros Avengers on an expedition beyond the Wall to capture an ice zombie, which they will use to convince Cersei Lannister, the self-declared Queen of Westeros, that the threat is real. They are saved from the army of the dead by Daenerys and her dragons, but the Gold Medalist Olympic Night King kills on of her dragons, Viserion, with an ice spear. A distraught Daenerys vows to Jon that she will help fight the White Walkers, and Jon accepts her as his queen. After the meeting, they leave thinking that Cersei actually agreed to do something honorable, but they don’t know Cersei like we know Cersei. On my momma, Cersei betrayed Dany and nem before they left Kings Landing. Meanwhile, Jon and Daenerys finally give in to their growing feelings for each other and have sex, unaware that they are related by blood (She is the Auntie and he is the nephew). And oh, the Night King has revived Viserion as an ice dragon zombie and that souped-up mf destroyed the Wall with blue dragonfire… Gawd damn, they in trouble. Daenerys’ Strengths: – Conquering – Fire – Walking into Fire – F*cking up Patriarchal societies – Killing slave owners – Dragons – Being a mf G – Not taking nan shit from nobody – Ordering n*ggas to BEND D KNEE Daenerys’ Weaknesses: – Temper – Nephews
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