Stacey Abrams Took The Bag and Ran With It

John Lewis knew Black equity couldn’t be obtained without the power to vote. Something so precious must be important, right? Or else why would white folks continue to try to take it away? Because when portions of this country began restricting voting rights (again), black folks kind of all say to themselves, at the exact same time… “Hmm, that’s odd.” John Lewis, my parents, your grandmomma, they all tried to warn us. Our ancestors always warn us when trouble is afoot. They warn us because, clearly, they love us more…

Dear Black Santa: Don’t Send These Kids We Quarantined With Shit

Dear Black, slightly diabetic, but not to the point of being on insulin, Santa, Wutup? Hope all is well. How’s Mrs. Claus doing? She good? I’m sure she’s filling the South Pole airwaves with the Patti LaBelle Christmas album. I don’t even know if Patti LaBelle made a Christmas album, but if she did, best believe Mrs. Claus blasting that mf. Mrs. Claus always reminded me of the Candy Lady in every black neighborhood (no matter the income). In hindsight, the Candy Lady was low key the first time most…

With My $600 Stimulus, I’m going to buy an LLC entitled: “STFU Telling Me To Buy an LLC”

Twitter LLC’s power is growing. Have you felt it? They are coming. And there is nothing we can do to stop them. When America and their ghetto ass “Here Nigga, Damn” Stimulus Act gets passed by Congress and signed by the President, our timelines will be filled with “Instead of buying that PS5, you should be buying 5 LLCs” posts. But y’all know what? Fuck it. I’m going to take the advice of the numb nuts, for once, and purchase an LLC. And I already have an idea of what…

I Obtained the Superpower of a Mediocre White Male

Greetings on this gloriously, powerful December 21st, the year of our Lord and Satan, 2020. As many of you know, black folks, because of the planets Jupiter and Saturn being aligned, have the capacity to receive superpowers, today. Well, I am happy to report that I received my superpowers, today. You may be wondering exactly what superpower I received on this glorious day. Is it the power to fly? No. Is it the power of telekinesis? No. Did I obtain some form of superior intellect? Fuck no. I received something…greater.…

Exclusive Interview: COVID-19 Pops Bottles at Afterparty with Gucci and Jeezy

By now, all of us are familar with the monumental Trap Verzuz that took place last night. And many are probably wondering what went down at the afterparty last night at the famous Atlanta nightclub, Compound, last night. Well, we had a chance to catch up with the infamous and evil COVID-19 aka Coronavirus aka Rona aka The Wuhan Bat Bully, and here is what he had to say about his experience popping bottles with Jeezy and Gucci at the Verzuz afterparty. BWNC: Glad you can join us. You still…