An Open Letter to Gas

Dear Gas, I hope this letter finds you well. All is not well, on my end. Currently, I am jogging more than ever, as I prepare myself for life without a motor vehicle. I would purchase a Tesla thingy, but inflation has made the cost to breath damn near unaffordable, so I haven’t even checked the price of an electric car. I’m losing it, man. Just the other day, I when I was at the pump, the local homeless n*gga asked me for money, and I was like, “Shiiiit, I…

An Open Letter to Jonah Byrde

*SPOILERS AHEAD* *SPOILERS AHEAD* *SPOILERS AHEAD* Dear Jonah Byrde, First off, I’m proud of the young man you are becoming. You are a money laundering child prodigy, and you will no doubt turn millions, if not billions of dirty money into clean money during the span of your career. That is, unless I am granted access by Netflix to walk through the TV and give you these mf hands. If that happens, then, well, your career maybe short lived. Allow me to explain. Jonah, I am in the process of…

What TF does Pushing P Mean?

I’m old. And as life passes me by, this world becomes even more confusing. And nothing, currently, is more confusing than “Pushing P.” What does it mean? Why is this even popular? What are Future, Gunna and Young Thug even talking about? Future is older than me btw, and he gets it, so why can’t I? I seek the answers. I need the answers. Because if I don’t get the answers, every time I hear that shit, it reminds of me of my own mortality. This stops now. We interview…

An Interview with the Taco Bell Chicken Wings

By now, you may have heard that Taco Bell is now selling chicken wings. That’s right. The place known for commercializing Mexican food for American consumption is now in the Wings business. And some people can’t get enough of it. Apparently, the wings are a hit. With even some saying they went back for seconds. The great team, here at BWNC, had to get to the bottom of this new, surprising phenomenon. So, we reached out to the Taco Bell Wing. And needless to say, they didn’t hold back. BWNC:…

It’s Been One Whole Year Since the Great Trailer Park Conflict of 2021

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about what happened on January 6, 2021. Ok, I’m lying. Days, maybe even months, go by that I don’t even think about what happened. Usually, I tuck this day away in my “Caucasian on Caucasian Violence” folder in my file cabinet. It’s right next to my “CDC says: Fuck if I know” folder. But when I do think about it, I think about a myriad of things. I think about the toxic emissions of Waffle House Employee Meth that resonated into…