After Watching Tiger King, I Momentarily Felt Bad For White People

I’m not white. Actually, I’m nowhere close to being white. Well, my momma is light skin, but she don’t take shit from white folks, never has. You know, she one of those light skin folks who let’s white folks know real quick that they are not one of them. That they carry around their black ancestors everywhere they go. And will unleash the spirit of said black ancestors to curse them slam tf out. But I digress… If you haven’t seen Tiger King, I encourage you to do so. It…

I’m Going to Need Obama To Gentrify The White House

President Barack Obama is nice guy. He is well mannered and usually takes the high road. But fuck all that. I’m going to need him to be on some n*gga shit, mixed with some white woman shit. As our ancestors would probably coin it, “The Corona” is here, and it’s real. Having a dumbass in the White House is all fun in games until, you know, it stops being all fun and games. So here is what needs to happen. We are going to need Obama to gentrify the White…

Electability Is A Russian Bot

Elizabeth Warren was it.. she was it, for me personally, I can’t even lie. She may not have been it for you, but she was it for me. But I didn’t go to bat on this white man’s internet as much as I should’ve. Going back and forth with people via Social Media is for the young and old, while I reside in the middle, observing comment battles—with a cup of cranberry juice, spiked with Tito’s Vodka—that rage on for a millennia. But honestly, I regret that.. because, to me,…

If I See One Moe F**king Bloomberg Commercial…

They haunt me.. Day and night, they haunt me. They appear out of nowhere when I’m awake and they visit me in my dreams when I’m asleep, instantly turning my pleasant dreams into dreadful nightmares. They stalk me. They walk with me. They follow me like a deathly shadow, waiting for me to acknowledge their existence. “White Supremacy?” Close, but no. Mike Bloomberg commercials. Michael Bloomberg and his commercials are scarier than Michael Myers. At this point, I’m considering taking karate lessons so I can attack his commercials like Busta…

Harvey Weinstein Was About To Buy Disney+

In a shocking development, Hollywood film producer, Harvey Weinstein has been found guilty of rape. Weinstein, who was said to be flabbergasted by the verdict, feels like there is a conspiracy to get rid of him and his influence. Rumors have been circulating for sometime that Weinstein was on the verge of purchasing Disney+. That’s right, Weinstein was going to purchase Iron Man, Thanos, Mickey, Minnie and Luke Skywalker from “the man.” The details of Weinstein’s case are eerily similar to Bill Cosby’s rape conviction, who interestingly enough was on…