October 1, 2022

It’s so good to be back.

Before we get into the House of the Dragon series, let’s get this shit out of the way. Game of Thrones, Season 8 was probably the worst thing in the history of mankind. Yeah, it topped recent Supreme Court rulings for me. Ok, ok, of course I’m (not) exaggerating, but I think it’s safe to say Season 8 left a horrid, unseasoned taste in most of our mouths.

BUT TODAY IS A NEW DAY

Today is the day we celebrate our Independence Day! That’s right, our independence to finally talk Thrones again, out in the open; The independence to finally annoy our spouses with our vast knowledge of the history of Westeros and Essos; Our independence to socialize online again with one another, as we develop memes, theories and threads!

Gawd damn I miss y’all! LET’S GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, let me relax. Let’s talk House of the Dragon. Or as I like to call it, Dem MF Dragons. I hope that catches on. I doubt it. But screw it, worth a batters try. House of the Dragon is based on an encyclopedia type book called “Fire and Blood,” which was written by Game of Thrones (“A Song of Fire and Ice“) author, George R.R. Martin, who instead of finishing the books “The Winds of Winter” and “A Dream of Spring,” decided it was a better idea to write about the Targaryen history.

As all of us know, Daenerys Targaryen aka Dany aka Mother of Dragons aka First of Her Name aka Queen of the Andals and the First Men aka Protector of the Seven Kingdoms aka the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea aka the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains aka Day Day, that crazy b***h outside derives from the Targaryen lineage. And like Daenerys, her ancestors were dragon riders, while also having a slight propensity to go bat shit crazy from time to time, mostly due to incest love making and what not.

House of the Dragon takes place over 200 years before the events of Game of Thrones. This era, known as “The Dance of Dragons,” is when a Targaryen Civil War erupted, almost destroying the entire Targaryen family, killing off most of the dragons alive during that time period, and forever weakening Targaryen power in Westeros. And because of the book “Fire and Blood,” we know the outcome of this story. It’s available for public consumption. However, one of the great things about “Fire and Blood” is that it’s written in more of a history text format, and not the traditional POV novel format George R.R. Martin wrote the Game of Thrones books. And so, there are many avenues the show and it’s creators can take for character development, political backstabbing, plot nuances and battle scenes.

This series will also feel right at home.

Just like in Game of Thrones, we still have the Seven Kingdoms, Kings Landing, the Hand of the King, the Gold Cloaks, the Master of Whisperers, Dragonstone, the major families including the Starks who are still at cold ass Winterfell and of course, we still have Tyrion Lannister.

I know, Tyrion ain’t drinking and knowning things yet. Let me live my lie in peace.

Going back even further, 300 years before the events of Game of Thrones and 100 years or so before the events of House of the Dragon, Aegon Targaryen, The Conqueror came to Westeros with his two West Virginian sister wives and conquered the Seven Kingdoms with Balerion the Black Dread, the greatest mf dragon in the history of mf dragons.

This dragon was a living nuclear weapon, ya hear me?

Once he conquered Westeros, he united the different kingdoms under one rule. Hence why, in Thrones years, you will sometimes hear “AC” or “BC.” “AC” stands for After the Conquering and “BC” stands for Before the Conquering.

Yeah, Aegon is Westerosy Jesus.

Fast forward 100 years later, in comes King Viserys I Targaryen, who was the 5th Targaryen King, after Aegon to sit on the Iron Throne. He ruled from 103-129 AC. Viserys was a good king, from all accounts. Left the kingdom better than he found it when he died in his sleep. This is a stark contrast to King Aerys II, who went insane and wanted to burn Kings Landing to the mf ground during Roberts Rebellion.

King Viserys had three children by his first babymomma, but only one of them survived to adulthood, his daughter Princess Rhaenyra. Because as you well know, making it to adulthood in those days, was an accomplishment. Making it to adulthood was like passing the bar exam or some shit. And because Viserys didn’t have a son to proceed him, he said, “You know what? Women are dope too, so she’ll rule the Seven Kingdoms after I die.” Yes, he said the word dope. A very forward thinking King, indeed! And so he began to train Princess Rhaenyra to be his heir. Brought her into the political discourse, including allowing her to participate in the Small Council meetings.

This wasn’t controversial at all.

WRONG. Hell, people didn’t want to see a Captain Marvel movie in 2018, so you know controversy would be afoot over a potential Queen ruler in 124. However, the nobles and Banner families came around to the idea and was like whatever, cool, why not. Also, a lot of this convincing took place based on Princess Rhaenyra’s ability to show her true potential as an intelligent, wise and just ruler. Is it jest or just? Never mind, I just looked it up. It’s just.

After Viserys’ first wife (and Rhaenyra’s mother) passed away, he not only officially named Princess Rhaenyra heir to the Iron Throne, but also remarried.

Yeah, you see where this shit is headed.

The Hand of the King, a man by the name of Otto Hightower saw an opening to sell his daughter off to the newly widowed King, and he did just that. He nominated his daughter, Alicent Hightower. And from there, King Viserys and Alicent Hightower bore FOUR more children, three of which were, yeah, you guessed it, sons. So while Viserys was just out here, knocking down this young thing, the Hightowers were positioning themselves to have their bloodline sit on the Iron Throne.

By the time Alicent was made Queen and birthed these problem children, a Daughter vs Stepmomma beef was starting to cook like one of them well done steaks y’all like to order. Embarrassing. Y’all embarrass god, country and ancestors when you order that seasoned rubber. This rivalry entered the public sphere in 111 AC, at this tournament to celebrate Alicent and Viserys 5th Wedding Anniversary. During the opening feast, Queen Alicent wore this green gown thingy (sorry, not women’s fashion competent) while Princess Rhaenyra wore a gown of black and red, which of course are traditional Targaryen colors.

From this point forward, people started calling themselves the Greens or the Blacks, depending on whether you favored the Princess or the Queen.

By this time, the King had gotten to that “huh,” age. You know, that age where you just be like huh? What? Cool, whatever. Like, you don’t really care about anything but living. Yeah, he got to that age. So, even though obvious, he saw none of this coming. Didn’t bother to amend his succession plan or further confirm Princess Rhaenyra’s heir status.

He dies.

And when he dies, everyone kind of goes silent, which wasn’t Kings Landing tradition on the event of a King’s passing. Instead of ringing the bell and start the succession, Queen Alicent Hightower sealed the King’s body in his chamber, threw all the servants who knew about the King’s death into the Black Cells and called a Small Council meeting with her father, the Hand of the King, contemplating out loud how to solve this succession.

In other words, Alicent Hightower was Cersei Lannister Sr.

When this Small Council meeting took place, all the other Lords were looking around like what the hell y’all talking about? This is already settled. The Princess is to sit on the Iron Throne. Queen Alicent and her father were like y’all can just shut up. Some of the Council members even hinted at treason, with the Master of Coin declaring he would not be apart of this. Well, the commander of the Kings Guard declared, “Mf, what you say,” annnnd stabbed and killed him. After the first blood was spilt, the plan was put into formation to name King Viserys and Alicent Hightower’s first born son, Aegon II Targaryen as the heir to the Iron Throne. Aegon II, of course, named after the OG Aegon the Conqueror.

But Aegon II originally didn’t want the throne. He thought it was all kind of bs.

That is until he was convinced by his Mother and his Grandfather (Hand of the King) that because he was the King’s legitimate first born male heir, he would always be threat and political rival to his sister. They convinced him that if her reign as Queen were to ever go bad, then the people (especially the lords and high borns) would look to him to possibly replace Rhaenyra. And obviously back in those days, sibling rivals use to trip, fall and break their neck down a flight of stairs ALL the time.

So, ya know, Aegon II’s momma and granddaddy had a point.

He reluctantly takes the throne. Not long after this, Aegon II’s brother, Aemond, starts flying around the Seven Kingdoms with his dragon, spreading the news that his brother was the heir to the Iron Throne.

Meanwhile, Princess Rhaenyra was at Dragonstone, chilling and what not, when she heard of her father’s death and her brother’s treason. After this, she called her own Nig..I mean Black Council, which included Daemon Targaryen (her Uncle and a G in his own right), Lord Corlys Velaryon, The Sea Snake who commanded the largest and greatest fleet (also, the Black dude on the show) and…well, that’s about it.

Oh and six big dragons, who were battle tested and battle ready and six or seven other dragons who could come off the bench like Manu Ginóbili and wreck shop.

So yeah, Aegon II had the man power with like three or four dragons and Rhaenyra had the dragon power with like three of four men, including her sons. Those sons are then used by Princess Rhaenyra to conduct her own form of diplomacy around Westeros with their dragons.

And this is how the Civil War and the Dance of Dragons begins.

You’re welcome. *Drops mic* *Bathes in Explaining Game of Thrones glory*

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.

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