April 25, 2024

Disney+ blessed us with its presence on 11/12/2019 and allow me to just say we are not worthy.  Disney threw everything and the kitchen sink at this d*** thing for the low-low ($6.99 a month, $12.99 with Hulu and ESPN+ included, and $32.99 if you want to borrow my password).  Outside of the obvious Disney Classics such as “The Lion King”, “Beauty and the Beast”, and “Aladdin”, users also have on-demand access to the Pixar masterpieces as well as Marvel movies and television shows and, of course, “Star Wars” content.  I personally cannot wait to watch “The Mandalorian” in its entirety as well as the 90’s Disney classic series, “Gargoyles”.  But as you know, we live in a landscape where you always have to have the goofy collection of people who just are not satisfied with anything.

The Mandalorian – Official Trailer 2 | Disney+ | Streaming Nov. 12

I was scrolling through Facebook and became completely baffled by some random Scar-ass mf who fixed their fingers to type the following statement:

“I can’t find anything to watch.  I mean there’s nothing but kiddie tv shows and old movies. It’s ok, I guess.”

NIGGA WHAT?!

The streaming service from the happiest place on Earth launched with a more than generous lineup of tv shows and movies, and you mean to tell me you couldn’t find ANYTHING you wanted to watch on there?  For one the MAIN reason to get it was for the old movies and tv shows.  It’s hard af to find a lot of movies on shelved because they’re put in the gaht damn Disney vault for years before some special edition comes out and demands your money.  A lot of the older Disney shows are flat out hard to buy and they’ll be on the service, and before you goof-troops bring up the Amazon Firestick hack that allows you to watch anything, everybody doesn’t want to do that bootleg shit every time they want to find some entertainment.  I love a good, smooth interface where I’m not required to go thru several uploads to find a decent copy of something that doesn’t have Japanese subtitles.

Miss me with that shit!

Then they tried to defend their position with wanting to have access to more adult content?  You gotta be kidding me, right?  You came to Disney for more adult content?  I… cannot, but even if I could all the adult shit is in Star Wars and National Geographic fucking Explorer!  NAT GEO IS ON HERE!

Y’all are ungrateful, disrespectful, disingenuous, needy, spoiled, foolish, entitled, goofy, insatiable, thirsty, angsty, hangry, low-down, disloyal, worrisome, sinning-a**, uncultured, rambunctious, sleepy, cranky, unhappy, tantrum-throwing, sassy, vibe-killing heathens and I’m calling all of your parents and legal guardians to report this fuckery.

There will be Z-E-R-O tolerance for insolence as it pertains to Disney+

And lastly, WHY ARE Y’ALL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU SHOULD GET RID OF NETFLIX IN FAVOR OF DISNEY+?! Keep them both. Y’all are just sooooooo disrespectful and forget where you came from!


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