May 29, 2023

I completely missed this over the weekend, but apparently in an event that injected American Patriotism and Nationalism with 500 cc’s of Cialis, a bunch of people in a Texas Walmart starting an impromptu, off key rendition of the American National Anthem.

Now, of course we know that every National Anthem is probably sung off key. Hell, I’m pretty sure it was written off key by slave owner and anti-abolitionist, Francis Scott Key. Off key, by Key. Get it? Ahh, never mind.

Anyway, when the video popped up on my social media timeline, I asked myself, “Oh, what do we have here?” And there it was, a bunch of pale, proud Americans, covering their pale American hands over their proud American hearts. And as I looked at the video and listened to the words sung by those true and proud American patriots, I kept searching for a Black person in the video.

@raised..right

God bless Texas and God bless the USA! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 Credit: Cody Bill Schrage

♬ original sound – Texan Raised Right

And if I found one, I prayed to the “Stevie Wonder version of Happy Birthday” gods he or she wouldn’t participate in this Jefferson Davis Broadway musical, but instead display the coldest “what tf is going on” look the state of Texas hasn’t seen since Black folks were updated on their citizenship on June 19, 1865. Well, not surprisingly (and somewhat disappointing because I was rooting for the wtf look) , there wasn’t a Black person in sight.

Now granted, after looking at the video where the Walmart is draped in enough Rollback prices and American flags to signify that MAGA is afoot, it leads one to wonder why on earth would Black people be at that Walmart in the first place. Walmart has their greedy palms spread throughout the United States, and especially the South, so one should easily assume there is a “Black” Walmart nearby.

And I bet that’s where they were. At the “Black” Walmart, probably being falsely accused of stealing.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.

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