Exclusive Netflix Interview: Where the F**k is All This Money Coming From?
Netflix is here to stay, I think most will agree to that. In fact, they are on a mission to monopolize the movie and TV industry with original content after original content. And if you are a Netflix subscriber, you know this to be true. Netflix has produced so much content that we can’t keep up, which, in turn, leads us to ask friends, family and social media followers suggestions on which Netflix series or movie we should watch. So, when news hit that Netflix originals outpaced acquired content for the first time ever in 2018, it came as no surprise to populace at large. However, one question does loom over everyone here at the BWNC staff, and that is, “Where are they getting all this fucking money from?” In an effort to get down to the bottom of this, I scheduled an interview with Netflix CEO, the Leader. In this exclusive interview at an undisclosed location (Seemed to be on a volcanic fortress of some sort), I asked the Leader a lot of pressing questions. BWNC: Hi, how are you? I just want to kick this interview off with saying congratulations on all the original content. It must be huge for you guys? The Leader: *Breathes heavily through an all black titanium alloy mask* BWNC: Ok, moving on. So, I have to ask, where are you guys getting this money from? The Leader: We print our own money. BWNC: But isn’t that illegal? The Leader: No. Through our lobbying efforts, we have managed to control all of Congress, the White House and most of the Supreme Court, with the exception of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, that old hag. And because of this, we drafted a tiny amendment in the U.S. Budget Bill that allows us to print our own money. BWNC: Wait, what the fuck? So this is how you get all of this money to make all of this shit? The Leader: Yes. You actually thought our subscription pays for this? *Laughs in sarcastic evil* We only raised the subscription price to make people THINK it is going toward original content. BWNC: And Trump is ok with signing off on this? The Leader: Trummmmp!? *Screams Trump in Soulja Boy* Trump has no idea what the fuck he is signing. We just hand him a piece of paper and he signs it, followed holding up the signature so everyone can see that he knows how to write his own name. Now, that negro Obama, he was a little bit more complicated. We had to go through red tape after red tape just to sit in the same room as Congress. Our master money printer would have to stop and start. Now we simply have an ink problem. BWNC: Ink problem? The Leader: Yes, we are running out of ink because of all the money we are printing. *Evil laughter ensues* BWNC: Oh, I see. Are you worried about inflation? The Leader: No, whats that? BWNC: Moving on. So, if I were to pitch you a show about.. The Leader: Approved! BWNC: But I didn’t even finish my pitch about a super unapologetically black show. The Leader: Doesn’t matter. We are handing out money to the whites, to the blacks, to the browns, to the gays, to the straights, it doesn’t matter. You have been approved for a new show. We expect a script by next month. BWNC: Wow, that was quick. But I’m confused. You guys are giving an infinite amount of money to all these black people, especially black comedians, but you couldn’t strike a deal with Monique? The Leader: Interview over. BWNC: But.. The Leader: Pack your shit. The interview is over.