1.) Daemon got divorced. Old school style.
2.) She was talking shit like a new age woman. Man, I-n-d-e-p women ain’t lasting long in Westeros
3.) All them “Daemon such a bad ass” memes ain’t gonna be circulating as much after this episode, huh
4.) Otto the Buckhead Scammer does have a point. Rhaenyra, as “nice” as she is would def put fentanyl in Aegon’s baby food.
Alicent woke now. This scene of Otto warning her was like her watching a Hotep video on youtube.
5.) Lawd Lilfoot Cane Strong limped up like that ni**a from the Drew Barrymore Charlie’s Angel movie. Y’all know who I’m talking about. His name was thin man or some shit.
Anyways, that mf slicker than Soul Glo.
6.) Call him “Say, fam” because every conversation with his ass will def start off with him whispering, “Say, fam.”
7.) Bro told the tea both literally and figuratively.
8.) Viserys on Hospices
9.) Lawd Strong doing so many calculations in his head when he heard about Daemon’s wife “untimely death”
10.) Rhaenyra spent one night in Flea Bottom and now she’s breaking down open marriage to Laenor.
Girls really do mature faster.
11.) D-Valley
D as in Dragon, you heathens!
12.) Criston Cole asking a woman to give up money and status?
He must out his rabbit ass mind.
13.) I know bro ain’t in love?? 
Throw this ni**a Cole overboard. Maybe Lil Mermaid will save his “what are we” nagging ass.
14.) Gawd damn! Cole told on himself like First fawty 8!
15.) That Grand Maester a sleaze ball too. And we know they’re from Old Town. Where the ScamTowers are from.
Honestly, we ain’t met a Grand Maester who we can trust yet.
16.) Viserys: Was I good king?
Lord Strong: Maaaan. Well. Ummm. You got one hell of a Lego Set! They can’t take that away from you!
*Looks off*
17.) Jason Lannister with the sexist joke about women not being ready on time! My god! Trash!
*Whispers* I was laughing my ass all the way off.
18.) At this point, Daemon really the dope head uncle who show up at Thanksgiving with a trash bag full of shoes and clothes.
19.) Alicent on that gawd damn CP Time.
20.) Alicent..LOWWWWKEY..just declared war on Rhaenrya.
Let the Dance of Dragons begin.
21.) If they start playing the Rains of Castamere at this fcking wedding, I swear foe Lady Catelyn Stark I’ll start screaming crying
22.) House Velaryon walked in there like they wanted to chew gum or kick ass, and they were all out of mf gum.
23.) This wedding is a love and hip hop episode.
They all drinking. Now we wait for someone to start grabbing weave and the b word is screamed multiple times, while glasses and Casamigo bottles fly.
24.) Everyone must be on them Milk of the Perc 30’s because shit talking is a talking.
25.) I’m no Mercury Retrograde (or whatever it’s called) ass ni**a but having someone die at your pre game wedding party, on your wedding night, has to be a bad sign or omen right?
26.) Laenor’s boyfriend really thought he could just go over there and talk shit? Now granted, I’m sure he didn’t think he would be beat to DEATH.
But still. Like, if you ain’t got them hands, may just wanna stfu.
27.) Like, half way through that beatdown, I know Joffrey had to be like “You know what? This ain’t even about me. Because ain’t no way he beating my ass THIS bad over a lil secret.”
28.) “Hell has no fury like a b*tch ass ni**a like me scorned.” – C Cole.
29.) Them Strong dudes hell. All Tree of em.
Break Bones will clear a whole club like a Baltimore security guard.
Lyonel aka Lionel just out here batting a thousand when it comes to advice.
LilFoot Cane a top commenter on Shaderoom.
30.) Rhaenyra and Daemon are the Bobby and Whitney of Westeros. These mfs got Viserys STRESSED, while they making love in the club
31.) Alicent got C Cole on her team now. She’s recruiting Avengers like Nick Fury.
House of Dragon aka Game of Thrones aka Dem Thrones aka Dem MF Dragons Season 1, Episode 5 Summation:
Nobody:
Everybody: heisnwbwhjejkwksmannskwiwyatgabnabvxbcvguajwnnwbgayauaikajw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Viserys:
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Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.
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