There’s some toes in this house, There’s some toes in this house. If you see ’em point out….if you see ’em point ’em out…–MC Lil Foot
Aight so boom, last week on House of the Insurrection, them damn Hightowers jumped off in the game of thrones feet first. Things started off with death finally getting a chance to take some well earned PTO after what was left of Viserys finally died. Once Alicunt got the news, she immediately went and told Hating Ass Otto about his passing and her bogus ass interpretation. And the way he asked who all knew, I knew that some shady shit was afoot. They immediately locked up all who knew and locked Aunt Niecy up in her chambers. This was definitely the starting point of the episode where fucking around was on the path to meeting finding out. Alicunt went to Auntie on some “sis join me, we run this shit” only to get shut TF down from the jump. Soon as she walked in Auntie called her out for stealing and proceeded to read her for filth. Otto called a small council meeting to inform them of the Kings death and to put operation FTB into motion to put Aegon the A-hole on the throne. Viserys ain’t get a foot into seven heavens gate before they started with the shits. Unbeknownst to Alicunt, they were going to kill Rhae Rhae, D-Smoke, and all their kids. The new ones, the mixed ones, and the strong ones…ALLUM. And all of the small council was with this except for Lord Beesbury. He refused to toe the line and stood ten toes down for what the King wanted, against Alicunt’s claims and Ottos treachery. He spoke what amounted to the strongest” I KNOW THOU F*CKING LYING” ever spoken in the realm. And it was all for naught. All 6 and 70 years of him survived droughts, famines, wars, disease, pestilence, plagues and no running water…just to be taken out by Ser Simpston and a gold plated ped-egg. And left there bleeding TF out like Harold from Menace. With No opposition in place, both Otto and Alicunt sent their own team to find Aegon, who was being stashed in a footlocker by the White Worm. Alicunt sent Ser Simpston and Eyemond Longface while Otto sent dingy Dylan and Cole Sprouse, each telling them to be discreet and fleet of foot in finding him. Down in Flea Bottom we saw how Eyemond really felt about Aegon. He was hating on his brother harder than a Jagged Edge record (y’all know He Can’t Love U is a hater’s anthem). We learned that the twins ain’t on the same side. We also saw one of probably many of Aegon’s bastards at the feral baby bum fights…that shit was wild by the way. But not as wild as what we saw back at King’s Landing. The writers kept their foot on the gas and ratcheted that shit up. We saw Alicunt in her chambers talking to Lil Foot on some scheming and murder shit. Turns out, he was there to beat more than her opposition.
Whole time, I thought he was doing all this arson, murder and mayhem in exchange for power and a seat at the table. Turns out she was giving this creepy nigga some leg and a toe-job. Now mind you, they been having these chamber convos for at least 15 years and we KNOW that wasn’t the first time. I bet Viserys somewhere on the other side mad AF with These Toes Ain’t Loyal blasting on repeat. For all her “we queens sis” shit she was telling Auntie, it turns out Alicunt ain’t nothing more than a two dollar toe…I ain’t toe shaming her, I’m just telling the truth. With Aegon found, they started ushering in the citizens to the dragon pit for the ceremony. During all of this, Auntie escaped with the help of Erryk. We finally get to the installation ceremony and I couldn’t help but notice some things. One, Hating Ass Otto was proud AF of himself. Two, Eyemond Longface really hated halfway seeing that shit and had the look of hate in his good eye. And three, after seeing how quick Aegon changed while pumping his sword and screaming Prestige Worldwide to the masses, Alicunt realized she fucked up.
Meanwhile, Aunt Niecy on the back of Meleys busted through the floor harder and faster than my momma did my room door when I forgot to take that chicken out the freezer. This was where fucking up met finding out. She let them know that she wasn’t for play and could have ended them all with one word…I wish she would have🤷🏿♂️. But she took her foot off their necks and got flewed out to Dragonstone. Now we find ourselves at the season finale with episode 10: The Black Queen. In the preview we saw Aunt Niecy tell Rhae Rhae that the Greens are coming with the fuckery and to kill all of them. We saw D-Smoke with Darksister in hand letting her know he with whatever. We saw a shit ton of dragons and we will see Eyemond remove his patch showing us how much he looked like his daddy. Anyways, the Blacks are about to mount up and get ready for the war ahead to make thine enemies thy footstool(one too many references huh). Quiet as kept, it definitely won’t be the first time that Blacks will have to mobilize against the tyranny and oppression brought forth by those in charge who hated them simply for being Blacks…..See y’all Sunday….
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