Daniel Cameron is Kentucky’s black Attorney General. He loves white people more than white people. And so, I got questions.
1. Where did it go wrong?
2. When you became a koon, did you start glowing like Sho’nuff from The Last Dragon?
3. Do you smile that hard to signal white people that you are safe?
4. Why do you have so many teeth?
5. Are extra teeth a prerequisite in order to become a koon?
6. Do you hate black women and why is the answer yes?
7. Do you cut your own hair without a mirror?
8. Does your clear wife tell you that your hairline looks nice?
9. Did your law degree come with a “Good job, BOY” smiley face sticker?
10. Did Breonna Taylor remind you of the black women you used to try and date growing up, but they stop fucking with you after you gave them your, “Black people are lazy,” speech?
11. Is it true you married Mitch McConnell’s niece?
12. If so, how long have they been training you in order for Mitch McConnell to surgically transplant his brain into your body?
13. How does it feel to have “Get Out” specifically, not even loosely, based on your life?
14. When you became a super koon, did you start glowing like Bruce Lee Roy?
15. Follow up to 14, if you started glowing like Bruce Lee Roy, instead of deeming yourself the master, did Mitch McConnell ask you, “Who’s the Master?!?” And you proudly said, “you are.” Did that happen?
16. When you were auditioning for white folks when you announced the grand jury decision, did you realize you would be nominated for Best Actor at the Country Music Awards?
17. When Trump called you on the phone to ask if you wanted to speak at the RNC, did you try to show him as many of your teeth as possible, only to remember that he couldn’t see you?
18. Do you send Trump selfies of your teeth?
19. How often do you wish you came from Mitch McConnell’s testicles?
20. Let me guess, when you read a Clarence Thomas opinion in law school, I bet you were like, “This guy gets it,” right?
21. If Breonna Taylor were white, them murder charges would’ve been brought against the cops that killed her months ago, huh?
Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance.
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