I’m Going to Need Obama To Gentrify The White House

President Barack Obama is nice guy. He is well mannered and usually takes the high road.

But fuck all that. I’m going to need him to be on some n*gga shit, mixed with some white woman shit. As our ancestors would probably coin it, “The Corona” is here, and it’s real. Having a dumbass in the White House is all fun in games until, you know, it stops being all fun and games.

So here is what needs to happen. We are going to need Obama to gentrify the White House. Now, gentrification is usually a white people thing, which requires a lot of jogging, yoga pants, Starbucks and increased property value. White women have mastered this, so I would highly recommend that Obama consult with a white woman (any white woman will do) to have a better understanding on the steps of gentrifying a specific area as soon as possible..

because time is of the essence.

Furthermore, I believe if Obama simply starts jogging around the gates of the White House, in yoga pants, with the same casual stroll a white woman may jog around a majority black community, that will automatically drive the property value up. And since Trump is currently losing all of his money in the stock market, thanks to “The Corona” it is reasonable to assume Trump wouldn’t be able to afford the dramatic price hike, and would be forced to move out.

The current President has no earthly idea what the fuck he is doing or what the fuck is going on, and that became very apparent last night when he addressed the nation. As he struggled to read the teleprompter, it became clear to me that America has elected the kid who the teacher would avoid calling to read in class, because he or she struggled so much, they would slow the class up. In other words…

Trump is incompetent and “The Corona” thrives on incompetence.

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