Every once in a while, an event happens that shapes the fabric of reality, of the spacetime continuum.
And an event of that magnitude happened today. Was it the scientific confirmation that God exist? No, but close. Beyoncé dropped her latest album, last night.
Beyoncé, who is considered a god to some, dropped an album that centers around many components, but most importantly, self-worth. The album mixes hip-hop, soul, trap, dancehall and a well-placed Donna Summer sample across 16 tracks which armed Beyoncé and even non-Beyoncé fans with tracks for the rest of the summer.
After such a momentous occasion, we reached out to Beyoncé fans, aka “The Beyhive,” to get their thoughts on the album. Here is what they had to say.
BWNC: So, let’s get right to it! How do you feel about the new album, Renaissance?
Beyoncé Fans: It is the greatest composition of music in the history of music.
BWNC: Really? Like, it just came out last night. You think you need to give it a second listen?
Beyoncé Fans: We’ve listened to it 25 times.
Beyoncé Fans: Jesus? Don’t you mean Beyoncé?
BWNC: Ummmm, ok. What was your favorite track?
Beyoncé Fans: All of them. Including the unreleased tracks.
BWNC: How did y’all listen to the unreleased tracks?
Beyoncé Fans: We broke into her home and listened to them.
BWNC: Jesus. I mean, Beyonce. Btw, can I just call you the Beehive from here on out?
Beyhive: What did you just say!?
BWNC: I said can I just call y’all the Beehive?
Beyhive: YOU SAID BEEHIVE! WE ARE NOT THE BEEHIVE! ITS BEY! BEY IS SHORT FOR BEYONCE! ARE YOU DUMB!?
BWNC: Ummmm, I mean I may have a lil dyslexia but I think dumb is a little hars..
Beyhive: SHUT UP!
BWNC: What, why?!?
Beyhive: WE ARE LISTENING TO OUR BIBLE AGAIN!
*One Hour Later*
BWNC: Nice for you all to join us again. So, after listening to it again, any new thoughts?
Beyhive: Yes, we have additional thoughts.
BWNC: Oh, nice! Please, share!
Beyhive: We believe that we can’t wait 6 years for another album. We had a discussion and we are willing to offer a sacrifice to our lord and savior.
BWNC: Sacrifice? Wait, what?? Who?
Beyhive: Anyone. But we’ll start with the global sacrifice of every Becky. Or Keri Hilson. We haven’t decided yet.
BWNC: My god.
Beyhive: My who?
BWNC: Sorry. I..I mean my Beyoncé.
Beyhive: Do you have any further questions for us? We are gearing up to listen to the greatest thing that has ever happened in our universe.
BWNC: Damn, this album has moved on beyond an Earthly scale?
*Beyhive starts to ascend*
BWNC: What…what’s happening?!?
Beyhive: The listening process has started. Farewell, peasant.
*Beyhive disappears into the light*
BWNC: Beyoncé Christ, that was weird.
Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.
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