September 30, 2022

We at Black With No Chaser have conducted many important interviews throughout the years. For these interviews, we have managed to ask an array of characters and entities pressing questions that went to the heart of the issue. However, our approach for this interview is different. Coming off the heels of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock in the face at the Academy Awards, White Hollywood has managed to release of fury of individual takes, expressing dissatisfaction in Will Smith.

Well, we asked White Hollywood if it would join us for a sit down to discuss the recent events that took place, and it accepted..

Judd Apatow Not Minding His MF Business

BWNC: Thank you for taking the time to join us. We understand that you just green lit yet another slave movie, is that right?

White Hollywood: That is correct! It will be slave period piece, dedicated to the courageous negros who chose to be in the house instead of out in the field.

BWNC: Excuse me? You know what? Let’s..let’s table that. Anyway, let’s hear it. What’s your honest opinion about what happened between Will Smith and Chris Rock at this year’s Academy Awards.

White Hollywood: *Clears throat* Well, first of all, thank you for giving us the Black platform to talk to your people about how we really feel. Let us be the first to tell you that we think…

BWNC: Lemme stop you right there…

White Hollywood: Ok…

BWNC: So you know how you over to someone else’s house right?

White Hollywood: Right, right. Drinking kombucha, I imagine.

BWNC: Yeah, sure. Anyway, so you’re over to someone else’s house and you bring your bad ass kids. So aight, y’all over there chilling, drinking kombucha, and then your bad kids and their bad kids start bad kid-ing together. Then suddenly, boom! They do some bad kid stuff like break a vase or I don’t know, maybe kill the cat. And as soon as some shit goes down, THAT parent is in charge of reprimanding THAT child and YOU need to stay out of it. In other words, mind ya bidness.

White Hollywood: Bidness?

BWNC: Business.

White Hollywood: Ooooo, I see. So you want us to mind our business?

BWNC: Correct.

White Hollywood: But wait, was Will Smith the parent and Chris Rock was the child?

BWNC: No.

White Hollywood: So, what are you trying to tell us?

BWNC: To mind your bidness.

White Hollywood: But what happened Sunday was violent! And it happened at our event!

BWNC: No, what’s happening in Ukraine is violent. What happened Sunday was Black folks doing some shit in hindsight shouldn’t have been done in front of company. Momma always taught us that if you gone smack someone, smack a someone in house, feel me?

White Hollywood: No, not really.

BWNC: Yeah, figured you wouldn’t. Anyway, yeah, it was your event. But it was our incident, our people, our slap. So, mind ya bidness. Got anything else to get off your chest?

White Hollywood: As a matter of fact, we do. We are very upset that..

BWNC: Lemme stop you right there. We don’t care.

White Hollywood: But..but we said Black Lives Matter after George Floyd died. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?

BWNC: No, not really.

White Hollywood: I think we’re done here. I also think we are going to really have to re-evaluate green lighting further slave movies.

BWNC: No, please, don’t. No.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.

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