People On the Internet Offended by WAP Video Leaves Internet Porn Perplexed

“WAP” by Cardi B and Meg Thee Stallion has taken the world by storm.

However, not everyone is impressed by the song, nor the video. The video, which featured fine ass women twerking and rapping, should’ve been universally praised for fine ass women twerking and rapping, along with, you know, visuals or something. However, not everyone views it that way. People on the, wait for it, internet, along with politicians on the, wait for it, internet were flabbergasted by what they deemed as oversexualization on the, wait for it, internet.

Personally, I was shocked that people were shocked by video appearing on the, wait for it, internet that featured fully to partially dressed women walking around, twerking, rapping and being showing covered cleavage. “How can we allow this kind of behavior,” questioned an internet user Demarcus Caldwell, 32 from Portland, Oregon.

He went to defend his objection by inserting the “purity” of hip hop, “This is not hip hop! I love hip hop, but this is not hip hop! Ewww, attractive women walking around and twerking while wearing sexy outfits. Unbelievable!” I asked Demarcus if he was sure he’s 32 and not born yesterday, because he possibly couldn’t have listened to a single hip hop song or watched a single hip hop video in his 32 years of existence.

I mean, shocking, right?

However, no one is more shocked by the reaction of WAP than Internet Porn, itself. I managed to speak to Mr./Ms. Porn (They’re gender fluid) and this is what they had to say..

“I can’t fucking believe it. Have people even been on the internet? If you google ‘Mom’, I pop up. If you google ‘woman’, I pop up. If you google ‘How to bake cookies’ I pop up. I’m fucking everywhere! In fact, I’ve made like trillions of dollars since I joined the internet. Jeff Bezos qualifies for food stamps compared to me. GTFOH. I make WAP and BET Uncut look like Easter Sunday. Everyone watches me! In fact, let me pull up your search histo..”

Unfortunately, Mr./Ms. Porn’s phone cut off at that very moment.

More on this story, as it develops…

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

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