President Trump to start OnlyFans

The 45th President of the United States, Donald J (the J is for Juicy) Trump will create an OnlyFans account for the purpose of continuing to screw millions of his followers, virtually.

Juicy Trump, who screwed millions of his followers with empty promises and lies on Twitter for almost a decade, has been kicked off the social media giant, thanks in large part to starting a Cracker Coup that turned out to be as thin as, well, as thin as their lips.

Not to be outdone by Twitter, the whole, entire internet has made an effort to block President Juicy from their platforms, including Facebook, SnapChat, YouTube, Twitch, Google, Shoptify, Spotify, Pinterest, as well as others.

First off, wtf is Twitch?
Secondly, wtf is Shoptify?
Thirdly, wtf is Trump doing on Pinterest?
Fourthly, they ain’t gone let the nigga listen to music?
Fif-ly, does he have to use Bing to find out that he has been banned from Google? If so, that’s embarrassing.

Trump, who is said to be excited about creating an OnlyFans, plan to show very private and intimate moments, such as him falling asleep in the tanning bed and the hours it takes for his combover to stay still. If you subscibe to his OnlyFans, you may catch a glimpse of President Juicy Fruit sleeping next to First Lady Lindsey Graham, but our sources could not confirm.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

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