Pro Confederate Flaggers Should Just Go Back To Their Country! Oh, Wait

When you say Flaggers, you gotta say it with a hard “er.”

It’s important. The hard “er” is very important. When you say it with a hard “er,” that lets these Flaggers know that you are serious when you yell, “Go back to your country, you fucking Flaggers!”

Wait a minute, do Flaggers call each other Flaggas?

Like, what if a Flagger is having second thoughts about the Confederate Flag? What if they realize it is a symbol of hate? What would this mean? I can picture it. A die-hard Flagger walks up to the Flagger having second thoughts, looks that Flagger up and down with disgust, and says, “Flagga, please.” Or if he has his homeboy with him, he would say, “This the Flagga I was telling you about.”

But I’ve had about enough of these Flaggers, personally.

They are lazy, uneducated, inherently violent and bringing down the United States property value. It’s disgusting. So, here is what I would recommend. If they love their flag so much, why not go back to their country? Why not pack up their flags, their bibles, their guns, their obesity and roll out? Their house is usually mobile, so it wouldn’t be a huge inconvenience to move.

See, Flaggers need to understand something. We here in the United States love winners. We hate losers. The Confederacy lost. And they lost because they fucking sucked. They were outsmarted, out manned, out gunned and outwitted by superior forces from the neighboring country.

The present day charlatans who represent the dying remnants of a dead country centuries past the point of rigor mortis looks foolish representing a symbol that is synonymous with losing. The present-day Flaggers lazily try to convience us winners that the flag is heritage, not hate. Well, I would personally hate to have a heritage of losing. What a sad, fucked up hertiage that must be.

And so, I feel bad.

I feel bad for the losers. I feel bad that their heritage is draped in the blood, sweat and tears of losers. I feel bad that the red on the Confederate flag represents the blood and sacrifice of losers.

Personally, I think as the winning nation, we should draft an axiomatic declaration or Executive Order, constituting that the treacherous Flaggers who occupy this winning nation be sent back to their country, with a follow up decree, declaring they are banned from ever returning to the United States due to potential terrorist activity their forefathers subscribed to after suffering an embarrassing defeat at the hands of a superior nation.

So, go back. Go back to where you came from. You are not welcomed here. You are not welcomed here among the winners. This country represents winners. This is a winners circle. What’s that? You have nowhere else to go? Because your country got their ass whooped so bad, it disintegrated? Oh, no.

Well, see if Mexico is feeling charitable.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

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