Report: Air Conditioning May Be Spreading COVID-19 And I Think I’m Ready To Move To Mars Now

COVID-19 is attacking our way of life in more ways than one.

According to new studies by credible folks who study shit like this, apparently the act of people staying indoors in order to avoid COVID and the heat maybe a contributing factor to the spread of the deadly disease, especially in the south. Just as chilly winter temps create the perfect conditions for passing colds and flu, especially in a lot of Northern states, researchers believe broiling heat could be having the same effect, (Especially in the Southern states) sending people indoors where air conditioners are running full blast.

I hate it here.

I’ve been seriously thinking about moving away from this ghetto ass planet for a while, now, but if they try to take away my air conditioning during this already hot ass summer, then I’m moving to Mars. Yeah, I’m going to hit up Elon Musk. Lure him with the suggestion to smoke sum, then request that he builds me a personal SpaceX joint that will go directly to Mars. Also, I can imagine that this will be a relatively cheap endeavor, considering I have no intention of coming back to this gentrified ghetto y’all call Earth.

After I settle on Mars, the lack of oxygen and livable temperatures, along with it’s incredibly weak ozone layer/atmosphere that would otherwise protect me from harmful sun rays, would present a tad bit of a problem, but I’m willing to risk it. I’ve seen the movie The Martian enough to know wusup. Matt Damon showed me that all I have to do is set up a small bio dome, plant some shit and boom, I’ll have food. And imagine doing all of this without worrying about COVID-19 or police brutality.

Also, y’all know how we are always trying to support black businesses and where are all the black businesses and black banks and shit at? Well, Mars, with me occupying and settling there, would officially be a black owned planet. As a lawyer, I would need to double check the actual legality of this but..nah, you know what? Why tf would I need to check Earth laws if I’m in Mars? Martian law would trump any inferior Earth law you Earthlings would try to bestow on me.

And imagine, Black History Month would never be the same. “Kids, a black president is nothing compared to a black planet, and no, I’m talking about the website your daddy used to send DM’s to random women on.”

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

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Image may contain: 1 person, sitting and indoor

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