Roe verzuz Wade, Kind of Explained

“Yoooo!”

Wutup!?

“You see that verzuz ? What’s that about?”

Hell yeah. I think Mario won. Omarion was out of breath like a nigga trying to hoop too hard in front of his ole lady. Honestly, that whole verzuz was like a Groupon ticket come to life.

“Tf is you talking about?”

The verzuz last night. Ya know, where they were eating watermelons on stage and what not.

“Noooo, not THAT verzuz. Talking about Roe verzuz Wade. The old school, Women’s Right to Choose verzuz.”

Ooooo, nah, yeah, THAT verzuz. Yeah, the Supreme Court took away a woman’s right to choose by overturning Roe v. Wade, which provided the Right to Choose/Right of Privacy (via the 14TH Amendment) for women in this country as it relates to their health, more specifically abortion and their reproductive rights.

“They did?!?”

Yeah.

“Jesus. How can something like this happen?”

Because people got high and decided to vote for a dead guerrilla in 2016?

“Huh?”

Elections. Elections have consequences. When Trump was elected in 2016, that enabled him to put three conservative justices on the Supreme Court. So, this really ain’t a surprise. This is called inevitability or some shit.

“So you mean to tell me that elections have consequences?”

Nah, niggas marched in suits in middle of Alabama summers for cardio. Yes, elections have consequences.

“So that we shall overcome shit was for real? Damn. Wait, what does this mean going forward?”

Well, what this REALLY means is that our 14th Amendment Rights are under attack. Why is the 14th Amendment so important? Great gawd damn question…

“But I didn’t ask that ques…”

14th Amendment rights are so important because it’s the Constitutions only real tool to establish rights that match up with present day ideals. Meaning that justices, through their opinions, can tinker with it and establish this or that right for this or that marginalized group of people. In this one amendment, you got the paramount Equal Protection Clause, Substantive Due Process which include the Right to Privacy (which the Supreme Court just took a big deuce on), Right to Travel, Procedural Due Process which include right to a Fair Trial and Burden of Proof. Like, it’s a LOT of shit in this 14th Amendment. It’s the Gumbo of the Constitutional Amendments, if you will.

“Nigga. Ok. How does this verzuz the Supreme Court just handed down impact my life?”

Ummm, it just depends. It’s almost like you have to answer a series of yes or no questions.

“What kind of questions?”

Are you a woman? If yes, next question. If no, the stfu for-ev-verrr.

“I’ll just say yes.”

Where do you live?

“Mississi”

You’re fucked.

“Alaba..”

Double fucked.

“Georgi..”

Triple fucked.

“Texa..”

Cinco de Mayo fcked.

“Virginia?”

Meeeeh.

“California.”

Oh, you’re good. Unless Ronald Reagan rises from the dead like Chancellor Palpatine or some shit.

“Huh?”

Because, ya know, Ronald Reagan was the governor of California and his evil levels are that of Palpatine from Star Wars and I just got finished watching Kenobi and..never mind.

“So you are saying that it’s up to the states to decide if I can get an abortion?”

Yes.

“But a lot of these states are ran by old white men or old white men adjacent (white women) who not only hate women, Black folks, and any other marginalized group, but are also making it harder for us to vote!”

Yeah. That’s the plan. If I were evil, I would use that plan. That’s a good, evil plan right there.

“Can I travel to another state to receive health care?”

Yep.

“But what if I can’t afford to?”

Then the federal government will pay for your travels.

“Really?”

No. If you can’t afford to travel to another state that provides adequate health care options, then I cite to the “you’re fucked” section of this conversation.

“What do we do!?”

Well, either start caring about state and local elections or move to New York. “Have you seen the rent there?!?” Yeah, they want $6,000 for a closet with a commode. Not even a toilet. Just a fucking commode.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.

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