If my hardship gets the best of you, please don’t go without saying a word
That will be a devastating blow, a blow that will leave me hurt
If my burden overshadows you, just let me know how you’re feeling
I’ve been guessing all this time, because you never wanted to reveal it
If my pain takes over, would you be there for my comfort?
You’re not the same anymore, I’m not the man you once wanted
If my smile doesn’t bring you joy anymore, how else can I light up the room?
You lost faith in me a long time ago, once you realized I wasn’t coming home soon.
That poem was from my first book “Flaws Of Perfection” titled “Uninformed.” In today’s time they call it being “Ghosted.” I wanted to share that with you because I’m sure many of us has felt this type of discomfort, For others, it was awfully painful! My stories of love or lack thereof during this period of confinement is one of simplicity that allowed me to maintain a level of sanity. Seeing other prisoners on the phone and visits arguing with their girlfriends/wives/ kids mother, drove me to conclude that I’m not beat for that type of stress if I want to remain levelheaded in here. I’ve established close connection with women, but I still kept my distance due to fear of disappointment or embarrassment. Because when you’re locked up you want a sense of security knowing that your women is holding you down, keeping her word and she isn’t being scandalous with other men. That’s a terrible feeling to stomach knowing your woman is salacious. What was once shared with you is now an enjoyment for others. Not only are you fighting for your life within a prejudice judicial system, you’re also fighting for this thing we call LOVE. Those are 2 battles that are very difficult to win. You could very easily win one and lose the other, just as easy as losing both simultaneously. A blow that could be defeating to man.
A conversation I had with someone awhile back was based on how women back in the day like the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s use to hold their man down through thick and thin. They were built a certain way and had a sense of resiliency about them that were built to last. It’s not the same in these current times based on a few factors. One of them being “INSTANT GRATIFICATION.” We want everything here and now with zero patience to account for. The “WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME NOW” culture has brought a whole new perspective and what it boils down to for many not all, is MONEY MONEY MONEY $$$! So in their mind, you can no longer be useful towards their needs so they leave you Uninformed by not answering the phone, letters stop coming through the mail, visits become vacant with an excuse on why they couldn’t make it. All of these are clues to the inevitable lonely feeling that could be defeating to man.
I draw my conclusion from both sides of the table so ladies, please allow me to shed light from your point of view if I may. It is not obligatory for a woman to hold her man down when the man breaks his covenant of their relationship by getting locked up. That decision is based on what she feels is best for her well being. I’m pretty sure she takes into account of how her man treated her, if he was attentive to her needs, was he progressing as a man with things like being goal oriented and taking care of his business? What was he bringing to the table? Overall, her happiness of the bond that they formed. DECISIONS, DECISIONS, DECISIONS that could possibly lean favorable towards the defeat to man. My advice, when you plant a seed in a garden you deem fruitful, water that seed, show it the sunshine so when that day comes for it to finally sprout, it’ll bloom as beautifully as the very first time your heart fluttered from that initial glance and scent that left her taste on the tip of your tongue so you won’t be left Uninformed. That could be succeeding for man.
Vibe With Me…
Disclaimer: At Black With No Chaser, we believe in providing a platform for all voices. This series is brought to us by our incarcerated brother Nasir Salaam. We hope you enjoy and encourage his willingness to share his mind with us. Nasir can be found on Instagram @freenazz Nazz On IG also help Nasir reach 1000 signatures by clicking on the link Change.Org for his wrongful conviction. Learn more about his story.
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