We Interview Kwame Brown

Kwame Brown, the former NBA player who was drafted as the number one pick by the Washington Wizards, has made his way in the headlines by essentially going at everyone on Planet Earth. I think he may have cussed out my momma, I’m not sure.

Just to give a little backstory, Kwame Brown is considered an NBA bust because of the high expectations that come with being drafted number one. However, to his credit, he did have a 12 year NBA career, making millions of dollars. But because of the high expectations associated with being the number one pick, he has received his fair share of criticism and has been the butt of many jokes for years. Well, other day was apparently the day he decided to end all that shit. Ever since clapping back at former NBA players Gilbert Arenas, Matt Barnes and Stephen Jackson, Kwame Brown has since gone after other public figures such as Jemele Hill and Charlamagne Tha God for even uttering his name.

Well when we got the chance to interview Kwame, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

BWNC: Hello, Mr. Brown. I hope all is well.

Kwame: Yeah, I’m good sucka ass n*gga.

BWNC: Sir, you need to relax.

Kwame: No, mf you need to relax. I’ve been relaxing for 20 mf years. Now I’m up. Y’all done messed with the wrong one. BWNC tf does that mean? B*tch Warrior N*gga Corporated?

BWNC: No, it’s actually Black With No Chaser. That’s not a bad guess, though. So, can I ask about your beef with Matt Barnes?

Kwame: Oh you mean Becky with the Vaseline kit?! What about him?

BWNC: How did all of this start?

Kwame: Well, it started from one Beta Becky, him, talking shit and it ended with one alpha ass n*gga, me.

BWNC: Well, technically, alpha is the beginning but I’m not about to argue semantics with your violent ass. Anyway, is it good to have the support you’re getting?

Kwame: Man, fuck that support. Fuck my supporters. My supporters weren’t supporting my ass when I was hooping. When I was averaging 3.5 ppg for the Grizzles, straight mf hooping. Where were they?

BWNC: Why would they support 3.5 ppg?

Kwame: Because I’m the mf shit, that’s why. How many mfs done averaged 3.5 ppg in the NBA? How many points yo sorry mf ass average?

BWNC: Zero.

Kwame. Exactly. That’s what I thought. Ole B*tch Ass N*gga.

BWNC: You violent, huh?

Kwame: N*gga, I AM VIOLENCE.

BWNC: So what’s next for you as it relates to feuding? Are you going to take Matt Barnes up on his challenge to box it out and join his All the Smoke podcast?

Kwame: Boxing? N*gga I’m damn near 40. He is 40. Wtf I look like boxing a n*gga who puts Vaseline in his hair? I ain’t boxing nobody. They just gone keep getting this ether. And anybody else who want it too can get it. I dare LeBron ole no hairline having ass to say something. I dare Barack ole big eared having ass to say something. I’m giving all these n*ggas work.

BWNC: Damn, you would give Obama that work?

Kwame: N*gga what you thank!?

BWNC: I think this interview is over. You be safe out there, bro.

Kwame: N*gga, please.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.

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