What Does Turkey Bacon Taste Like?

I’m a fan of bacon. Smoked bacon, Applewood bacon, thick cut bacon, Butchers Cut bacon, bacon bits, the bacon that’s been sitting in the kitchen two hours after breakfast, oven bacon, air fryer bacon, skillet bacon, the bacon half eaten by your kid that you want to disown because who tf eats bacon only halfway, I love it all. I call it bae-con sometimes when I’m eating it drunk at Waffle House in 2 in the morning.

And as an obsessive fan of bacon, I must say, with all due respect, fuck turkey bacon as a staff, record label, and mother fucking crew….again, with all due respect.

Truth be told, bacon deserves to be served by itself, more. Like, stop pairing it with inferior foods. Putting bacon on lettuce is like putting Lebron James in an 8th grade AAU tournament. Anyway, I decided to try turkey bacon the other day. It’s been a while. I was on a turkey bacon habit years ago, trying to be super healthy, but I was like why? So what I die on Tuesday, instead of Thursday, who gives a shit?

And so I tried it again, and here is a short lists of things it taste like:

1.) Broken Dreams
2.) Salted Rubber
3.) Baked Salt
4.) Carboard Sodium
5.) Seasoned Furniture
6.) Purgatory
7.) Supper
8.) The CDC
9.) Mediocrity
10.) A Jackson, MS pothole filled with Gulf of Mexico water
11.) Caucasian Soul Food
12.) Regret
13.) Adulting
14.) Pointless Sodium
15.) Great Value High Blood Pressure
16.) Cured Plastic

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang, the greatest baby father to the dopest babymomma, and the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet…sometimes. So, you know, balance. Sort of.

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2 Thoughts to “What Does Turkey Bacon Taste Like?”

  1. […] Ok, McKenzie, before you shit your pants, lets just think about this. Critical Race Theory has been around longer than a lot of us have been alive. This idea; this study; this academia is nothing new. Racism being something embedded in legal systems and policies shouldn’t be this radical, far fetched idea. In fact, for most (if not every) Black people, we kind of thought it was understood. Talk about being scared of Critical Race Theory. Try living that mf. Try living Critical Race Theory. Critical Race Theory eats breakfast with Black people and shit. The intersection of racism and society is probably the reason why some of us eat Turkey Bacon. […]

  2. […] Talk about being scared of Critical Race Theory. Try living that mf. Try living Critical Race Theory. Critical Race Theory eats breakfast with Black people and shit. The intersection of racism and society is probably the reason why some of us eat Turkey Bacon. […]

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