So, initially, after I got up this morning, before reaching over to look at my phone, I was thinking of just drinking some coffee and calling it a morning.
BUT, for whatever reason, after looking at my phone, I said to myself, “Oh, wow. Maybe its a bacon and eggs kind of morning!” I have no idea what made me say that. So weird. So weird where this sudden pep in my step came from, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.
So, now here I am, eating bacon and eggs. I got the scrambled eggs just right, too. Nice and fluffy, with a touch of cheese. Don’t over cheese your scrambled eggs. Just a touch of cheese. Enough cheese to let your taste buds ask itself, “Oh, wow, is that a touch of cheese?” Also, with your eggs, add a little crème fraîche. I’m telling you, it goes a long way.
And before you ask, no I didn’t eat that nasty ass Turkey bacon. Like, what’s the point of eating Turkey bacon? It’s packed with sodium and it’s not fucking bacon. If I’m going to eat something packed with sodium, it may as well be real bacon, right?
Oh, and I’m not just eating any bacon. Nah, I’m eating that butchers cut bacon. That bougie bacon you find at a high end Las Vegas brunch bacon. That Jack & Jill of America, Inc. bacon. That petty bacon.
That petty bacon.
Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance.
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