December 9, 2023

I love white people, white peopling.

In fact, we expect white people to always white people. It’s one of the few joys we have as black people. White people, white peopling is usually harmless and allows us to make fun of white people, white peopling. But ever since white people decided that white supremacy is bad about eeeh, a month ago, white people are making it a mission to out white people other white people, white peopling.

Essentially, they have upgraded their white peopling.

White people out here washing feet, beating up other white people who are racist white peopling, burning buildings, and risking COVID all in the name of white guilt. But none of this beats the white guilt that took place on Capitol Hill. In what is probably the most white people, white peopling in recorded white people history, congressional white people took a knee in Kente cloth, thus breaking the white people, white peopling richter scale kept at the National Institute of Black People Studying White People, White Peopling.

The moment that lead to this catalosmic white people, white peopling event was the unveil of a new police reform bill by House Democrats. The legislation would include a ban on police using chokeholds or carotid holds, would eliminate no-knock warrants in drug cases and hopes to change “the standard to evaluate whether law enforcement use of force was justified from whether the force was reasonable to whether the force was necessary.”

The sweeping package would also require nationwide use of body cameras by all police, subject law enforcement officers to civilian review boards and abolish the legal doctrine known as qualified immunity, which protects police from civil litigation, according to congressional sources.

In other words, the bare minimum.

And as the white guilt mounts, more white people will look to top the other people by out white peopling the other white people, white peopling. And my black ass can’t wait.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

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