Who TF Is Jalen Rose’s Barber?
There are age old questions that everyone wants to know but nobody has answers to. Questions like:
Did the moon landing actually happen on the moon?
Who shot JR?
Why do some people call cheese dip rotel?
But in 2020, even with all the bullshit happening around us (a fire tornado…really, Lord?!), the most pressing question is, who the fuck is Jalen Rose’s barber?
A few weeks ago the former NBA player and current sports analyst posted a picture on the socials and his line up was extra crispy (see cover pic).
Then yesterday it happened again and of course #BlackTwitter took notice.
To be honest, it made me a little self conscious. Now, don’t get me wrong; my barber is cold but if J Rose and I were in the same space, I’d just have to leave so nobody would try to compare our line ups. The fact that this nigga is knocking on 50 and his hairline is fuller than mine adds further insult to injury.
Seriously, what do they use to chop him up? Is it a laser? Does this person have an engineering degree? Maybe they’re an architect.
That part looks like a highway drifting into the horizon in the middle of a wheat field in Iowa. There’s literally no logical explanation for it.
We all know that Black folks take our hair very seriously and barbers are cornerstones of our community. Rose’s barber is definitely at top tier status. I believe in giving folks their roses while they can still smell them so I just had to shoutout whomever this unsung hero is.
We don’t see you but we see your work.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mel Clayton is a native of Pine Bluff, AR and an alumnus of the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff and the University of Arkansas-Clinton School of Public Service. He went to law school for a semester and a half at the University of Arkansas but he hated that shit.
Mel is an avid lover of music and has dedicated his life to sharing authentic Black stories and experiences through his research and writing. He hopes that everyone who reads his publications will be impacted on a spiritual level.
He lives his life according to the mantra, “Trust yourself and follow the energy.”
Instagram: @melclayton_92 | Twitter: @melvindc1