With My $600 Stimulus, I’m going to buy an LLC entitled: “STFU Telling Me To Buy an LLC”

Twitter LLC’s power is growing. Have you felt it?

They are coming. And there is nothing we can do to stop them. When America and their ghetto ass “Here Nigga, Damn” Stimulus Act gets passed by Congress and signed by the President, our timelines will be filled with “Instead of buying that PS5, you should be buying 5 LLCs” posts.

But y’all know what? Fuck it. I’m going to take the advice of the numb nuts, for once, and purchase an LLC. And I already have an idea of what I want the LLC to be. It will work something like this:

See, whenever someone posts some dumb shit like, “Instead of my 3 year old wanting a Barbie Dream House, she told me to buy her Barbie shares. We built different. We all got the same Twenty-Foe,” I will, for a very nominal fee, tell them to not only stfu, but report them on your behalf.

Of course, your name will not officially be attached to the “STFU you stupid mf” comment/reply nor the Report. But you can rest assured that not only your point will be made, but one less “Start an LLC” post will be on the social media streets.

But wait, there’s more!

There will also be an option to purchase the Premium Platinum Gold Fangs Package. And for the Premium Platinum Gold Fangs Package, I will travel to whoever made the post and slap them. Like, slap the shit out of them. Slap the taste and LLC out their mouth. Of course, any potential gas/air travel, lodging, food and court expenses will be calculated into the package, but to be quite frank, it’s well worth it.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.