America has always been a ghetto ass mess. Just a bunch of Life, Liberty, and Ghetto Shit since 1776.
However, the last four years have been extremely ghetto. A ghetto ass president doing, saying and tweeting very ghetto things, including pardoning his ghetto ass, hoodrat ass friends. However, depending on if the pumpkin spice latte gang hold up their end of the bargain, the four year, meth induced extreme ghettoness maybe coming to an end, and America can finally put down the meth pipe, or whatever you smoke meth with, and pick back up the hard liquor we’re used to.
The transition from extreme ghettoness to just ghetto will be a rocky one for America, especially White America. America is very ghetto by nature. America’s criminal record rap sheet is longer than the Anaconda who tried to eat Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez. They steal, cheat, will vote against their own interest thus sacrificing upward mobility and are lazy. However, because of their privilege, they can display very ghetto traits and still obtain obscene levels of vast economic success..
including becoming President of the United States of America.
No matter what happens or whoever wins, copious amounts of Caucasian Centric Criminality will paint the streets orange with pumpkin spice. Black America will undoubtedly become keen observers, documenting the horrors Starbucks, vegan soul food restaurants and gentrified oxygen bars will endure by the hands of white America.
This by no means should warrant Black America to put their guard down. In fact, we should be overly prepared. Just in case white boys in pick up trucks, full of Natural Light (Natty Light) want smoke. Just in case white boys in pick up trucks, full of Natty Light decide venture into our residences (produced by black flight), yelling “Woo!” Black America knows what “Woo” means. Black America is far too familiar with “Woo.” But nah, they don’t want that smoke. Because Black America practices that same second amendment smoke. And while they yell “woo,” we ride out to “The Woo.”
But I digress.
As White America boards up it’s precious buildings, in preparation for an evening of ghetto Boston Tea Party shit, let us not forget that we, as proud Black Americans, must embrace our civic duty, and leave an honest Yelp review that paints an accurate, yet vivid depiction of our beautiful nation.
America:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
EXTREMELY Ghetto. Would not recommend, AT ALL. Aliens, please gentrify IMMEDIATELY.
Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance.
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