December 4, 2023

I’m not white.

Actually, I’m nowhere close to being white. Well, my momma is light skin, but she don’t take shit from white folks, never has. You know, she one of those light skin folks who let’s white folks know real quick that they are not one of them. That they carry around their black ancestors everywhere they go. And will unleash the spirit of said black ancestors to curse them slam tf out.

But I digress…

If you haven’t seen Tiger King, I encourage you to do so. It is centered around white people doing the most white people shit you think white people can do. Except, on meth. The show is centered around Joe Exotic, who dubs himself the Tiger King. And he ain’t wrong, especially if Tiger King is short for Hillbilly Who Has A Lot of Tigers.

Joe, who is definitely on meth, is complimented by a lot of other white people with tigers who are only probably on meth, including Carole “Fucking” Baskin, who is Joe’s sworn mortal enemy. If you watch Game of Thrones, she is pretty much the Cersei Lannister of the documentary.

Also, from a legal standpoint (I am an attorney), when I watched it, the first question that came to my mind was, “How is all of this shit even legal?” Like, we all know white people can get away with a LOT, but I always assumed white people kept a close eye on the meth induced white people, especially meth induced white people who handles animals.

Netflix, in recent years, has become the epicenter for weird white people doing weird white people shit. They have produced and released a number of documentaries that feature white people, weird white peopling. However, nothing has matched the release of a documentary which features a white, gay hillbilly with a tiger farm, who has an East Coast/West Coast level beef with a woman who also owns a tiger farm, and who maybe (ok, probably) killed her husband by feeding him to one of the tigers in her farm.

Joe Exotic - Here Kitty Kitty (Official Music Video)

And those are just the main characters. The side characters include..

meth, who really should be put in the main character category; a bunch of white people with missing teeth because of the meth; an informant who looks like a meth’d out version of Chucky, the killer doll; a guy with a do-rag who may or may not have set Joe Exotic up after Joe embezzled thousands of dollars to finance his governor campaign; a campaign manager who seemed like the ONLY sane person in the documentary; a former drug kingpin who owned a private tiger zoo; a film producer who thought everyone was bat shit crazy; and a weird polygamist who also owned a private tiger zoo.

Needless to say, the lack of diversity was welcoming.

However, I must admit, while watching this train wreck Netflix calls a documentary..

I momentarily started to feel bad for white people. For a moment, in time, I mourned for them. I cried for them. I wanted to hug them to let them know everything would be OK.

That no matter how many private zoo’s, ran by meth heads, occupy this nation, that they are still white. That they can still get away with shit black people could never dream of getting away with..

which includes running a private zoo..

while on meth.

2 thoughts on “After Watching Tiger King, I Momentarily Felt Bad For White People

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